Dumb Ways to Die Wiki
Dumb Ways to Die Wiki

The lyrics of the song are all funny and describe dumb ways to die. The first four verses (1,2,3,4) and part of the bridge are just that, and the second part of the bridge[1] are all ways to die related to trains. The general message is that trains are dangerous, and it would be very dumb to die because of one. i.e. to die because you drove around the boom gates at a level crossing is as dumb as to die from eating a two-week-old, unrefrigerated pie, or to die from taking your helmet off in outer space.

The whole lyrics were taken from the Karaoke version of the song.

  1. Stumble, Bonehead, and Putz; excluding Botch and Doofus whose deaths aren't related to trains.


The song has five verses, with four lines each, except for the bridge, which has six, with five actions and one connection to the final chorus.

Generally, each line is a dumb method of death.


Verse 1

Set fire to your hair

Poke a stick at a grizzly bear

Eat medicine that's out of date

Use your private parts as piranha bait


Dumb ways to die

So many dumb ways to die

Dumb ways to di(-i-i-i)e

So many dumb ways to die

Verse 2

Get your toast out with a fork

Do your own electrical work

Teach yourself how to fly

Eat a two-week old unrefrigerated pie


Verse 3

Invite a psycho killer inside

Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride

Take your helmet off in outer space

Use a clothes dryer as a hiding place


Verse 4

Keep a rattlesnake as a pet

Sell both your kidneys on the internet

Eat a tube of superglue

I wonder what's this red button do? (spoken)



Dress up like a moose during hunting season

Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason

Stand on the edge of a train station platform

Drive around the boomgates at a level crossing

Run across the tracks between the platforms

They may not rhyme but they're quite possibly

Final Chorus

The dumbest ways to die

The dumbest ways to die

The dumbest ways to di(-i-i-i)e

So many dumb

So many dumb ways to die



Be safe around trains, a message from Metro